Details here

Fellow GRAPSF members. It’s time for us to yet again march side by side into that great fight and take our places as the champions we know we are. Alternately, we could stumble into the darkness weeping in shame, but hey: we’ll do it as a team.

I’m speaking of Midwest Championships, of course. This is the midwest’s very own major tourney, and considering the successes we’ve enjoyed both as a community and as individuals in other tournaments, we owe it to ourselves to go. Two days of fighting game fun, surrounded by fellow enthusiasts, buoyed by energy drinks and shitty buffet food… It’s like heaven, if heaven smelled like a gym locker and didn’t let girls in. How can it go wrong?

The official thread on SRK is located here.

The event will be held on May 8th and 9th, which are Saturday and Sunday respectively. Hotel rooms are seventy dollars a night, which split between two people (or more, if you’re feeling saucy) is downright affordable. In the GRAPSF.com forums, you’ll find a thread in which plotting, wheeling, and dealing for the event may proceed: you have two whole months in which to prepare. Get hype, Pringles, Scoops, Blast, and all that malarkey.

In other news, Super Street Fighter IV has been confirmed at the long-rumored forty dollar U.S. price point on it’s release date of April 27th. Be aware that the game will actually be available for purchase on Wednesday April 28th, as the 27th is simply the date it ships. Unless, of course, you pre-order at the Gamestop on Wilson by Rivertown Mall, which is holding a midnight release event. Be sure to pre-order from SmurfTac0s, one of our finest digital pugilists and manager of said store, to ensure that you get a head start. That few hours may be important, as we’re holding a GRAPSF.com event on April 28th to celebrate. Details as they develop.

I know what you’re thinking. “What in the smoky ass fingering fuck is Capcom thinking releasing Street Fighter IV on iPhone”? I know that’s what you’re thinking, because that’s what I’m thinking too. After all, this is the device that’s capable of making both “Adventure” for the Atari 2600 and “Dragons Lair” for literally everything else unplayable messes. I’m sure a fighting game on a system without actual buttons will be awesome.

We have only ourselves to blame for this misappropriation of time and money, though. We’ll buy any goddamn thing with Street Fighter in it. There were five official Street Fighter II games, five official Alpha entries, three Street Fighter III installments, and somehow there is more than one Street Fighter EX game out there. How many versions do we need? Why did I buy “Fighting Street” on Virtual Console instead of something with actual value? Because Capcom knew I would. Game developers are, after all, inherently lazy. They only work when they have to. Instead of doing something useful, productive, and HARD, like porting TvC to a real console or getting started on that HD Darkstalkers game, they can quickly shit out a terrible, inferior port of their latest opus and make a quick buck. Shame on you, Capcom. I almost canceled my two pre-orders for SSFIV, threw out the Udon artbook and t-shirts I just bought, and melted my Blanka action figure with a lighter when I read about this iPhone business, but  I was already sitting on my couch eating potato chips trying to relax. You got LUCKY, Capcom.

In other news, Brian Crescente of Kotaku received a package from Capcom the other day containing a single blue boxing glove clutching a rose. Not a very subtle hint. In fact, it doesn’t even qualify as a hint, because they didn’t try very hard to  conceal their intentions. If PR stunts can be compared to clever innuendo and flirting, then Capcom just pulled their dick out and offered to let us suck it. Which I would do, by the way. I bought Fighting Street on Virtual Console, after all. Motherfuckers.

. .

In other news, Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom releases this week, and I just happen to own two Wii arcade sticks. Coincidence?

Look forward to TvC casuals this Saturday at ULX: where the eyeliner and teenage angst rolls hard.

The Ranbat season is almost over folks, and despite appearances, I HAVE been keeping track of who got what when. Updates have been long delayed, mostly due to work and holiday commitments, but fret not: The results for the December 5th meet up and the December 19th meet up are listed below.

December 5th:

1) Aaron – 8
2) Hotsauce – 7
3) Chauncy – 6
4) G-Boobie – 5
5) Dro – 4
6) Singe – 3
7) Cuban – 2
Cakefarts – 1

December 19th:

1) Octopus On Fire – 8
2) Hotsauce – 7
3) Holdy – 6
4)Slappy – 5
5)Singe – 4
6)Chauncy – 3
7)G-Boobie – 2
Cakefarts – 1

Results for the entire season are now updated in the appropriate section, conveniently located to your right. Slappy is still the leader, but Hotsauce is very close behind him, followed by the ever incredible Smurftac0s.

Our concubines will have to live without the moaning and wild consolation sex, because GRAPSF.com represented very well indeed. In fact, we boasted players in top eight in two games, and five players in the top fifteen in Street Fighter IV. Even better, Drohouse turned heads with his fucking horrifying Zangief, breaking his way into the exhibition match that capped the evening. Only the finest digital pugilism was on display in that event, so congratulations for Dro are in order.

Many of these people will fail out before tasting glory. We were not among them.

The final placement for GRAPSF.com personnel are as follows:

Street Fighter IV:

Dro: 4th

Hotsauce: 9th

Slappy/Holdy/G-Boobie: 13th

Smurftac0s/Chauncy: 17th

Cakefarts/OctopusOnFire (Ben): 25th

Cuban Ace: 49th

Street Fighter 3: Third Strike:

G-Boobie: 5th

Chauncy: 7th

Tekken 6

Todd Bujack: 9th

Highlights include Dro being called a scrub for winning a match, Chauncy actually bringing Haagen Daz ice cream and Pringles, Hotsauce running some homeless dude over on the way to the tournament and messing up his tire, myself actually pulling off Oro’s grab super art in Third Strike not once, but TWICE in a row on Ghetto on the Rise, the utter worthlessness of the ‘employee’ running the counter in the school commissary, being annoyed by a laundry incapable Asberger’s sufferer for an hour while helping to run the brackets, and all the great new folks we played. These tournaments are more than just competition: they’re a meeting of like minded people, enthusiastically doing what they love together as a community.  It proves how much fun these games can be at the highest level, and I for one can’t wait for the next one.

Gaze ye upon the face of Holdy and DESPAIR.

Our regular ULX meetings and GRAPSF.com Ranbats will continue starting this next Saturday at the usual time. We’re taking a break for Christmas weekend, and possibly New Years. Details as they develop.

Congratulations to everyone who participated, and extra special thanks to AaronS who organized the tournament. Spending your own time and money to make sure that the people who love these games have a place and event to call their own is the finest thing a person can do for the community, and he deserves all of our thanks for making his first major something to remember.

(more video to come but I have to get to ULX now -- Slappy)

Counting the three previously confirmed characters (newcomer Juri plus T. Hawk and Deejay of SFII fame), six of the rumored ‘eight to ten’ characters have now been revealed. If rumors and Seth Kilian can be trusted, that leaves between two and four remaining characters to be announced… All of which should be Dudley from Street Fighter III. I’ll even tell you how it fits into the fiction: the car in the already revealed bonus stages? The one you beat up for ‘points’? That belonged to Dudley’s dad, and now you have to pay. Search your feelings: you know it to be true.

Note also that Guy is punching a kunai out of the air in his upper right hand screenshot: the kind of kunai that a certain less than totally dressed ninja girl from Street Fighter III has been known to toss around. The caption for the picture asks, “Who’s kunai is that?” Not Ryu’s, that’s for fucking certain. I’ll leave it at that and let you draw your own conclusions.

Pics below.

Casual matches and coaching sessions went swimmingly, but the real event was the second GRAPSF community tournament. While the competition and friendly smack talk went a long way towards the tournament’s success, I think we can all agree that it was the enormous projection television (and accompanying 100 MegaShock sound system) that made it truly epic. My favorite match of the night was the grudge match between Slappy’s Cold, Inhuman Zangief and my peace loving and cuddly jungle dwelling Blanka which came right down to the last round of the last match and made the place go crazy. Cuban Ace made it out after a prolonged absence and brought a mean, mean Vega with him. HoldySnausages and Crip2nite made the rounds with their devastating shotos, and my young ward Singe came out to play for the first time since… Well, the first time. Fancy that.

SmurfTac0s took first place with his very lifelike Mike Tyson from Japan, having overcome The Artist Formerly Known As MegaTPlusStrength And Now Known As HotSauce (hereafter referred to as TAFKAMTPSANKAH) and his Godless and perverse Sagat. TAFKAMTPSNKAH has only recently switched over from padwarrior to arcade stick, and impressed everyone with his growing execution and ability. I myself took third, losing to TAFKAMTPSANKAH in a close and exciting match between his Godless and possibly fascist Sagat and my Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Blanka.

And now, some business. Meet ups are going to be weekly from here on out. Saturdays at ULX, starting at 2 PM and lasting until whenever. An all day pass is ten dollars, but if you can only make it for an hour or two, it’s two dollars an hour. I myself think that’s a steal, considering that you get to play on the BIG SCREEN, which if my calculations are correct, is only three inches smaller than God Himself.

To provide some incentive for showing up, the first GRAPSF Ranbat season will start this upcoming Saturday, and will take place every Saturday thereafter until the end of December. Check out the thread in the forums for more info, but the more events you attend, the more likely you are to win and score points. And the three overall winners at the end of the season have some excellent prizes coming their way, courtesy of Planet G-Boobie.

We will also be hosting  a monthly cash prize tournament with a ten dollar buy in. More info on that as it develops.

Thanks to everyone who showed up for a great time, and thanks again to ULX for making us feel so welcome. See everyone Saturday, and remember: bring your friends, bring your hype, and leave your eyeliner at home.